Biblical Answers for Feelings of Inferiority
Overcoming Feelings of Inferiority
Canaan means low or lowland. As I
have stated before, I believe that this stands for problems associated with
low self-worth. This particular area of counseling has been hotly
debated in Christian counseling for some time, probably due to the excesses
in trying to deal with what is called "self-esteem" in secular psychology.
The second major battle in Canaan was over Ai, which we have already
discussed and identified as shame. Shame is one of the strongest
feelings associated with low self-worth.
Low self-worth is the root problem or at least a contributing factor in most
psychological disorders. According to the genealogy given in the
Bible, Canaan was the father of the founders of the other tribes living in
this geographical area. That is why this area was known as the land of
Canaan. Consequently, the Bible suggests that low self-worth is a root
cause of the remaining psychological problems that we will discuss.
Possibly, one of the most well-known psychological problems is that of the
“inferiority complex” popularized by Alfred Adler. (Morris, 1996, p.
459) There are many reasons why clients might perceive themselves as
inferior to those around them. The core issues involved are those of
self-worth and significance. Many times, it is the result of being put
down by others or the experience of not measuring up in some aspect to those
around them. Children treated as inferior will eventually believe that
they are inadequate and will become self-conscious. Others may
perceive them as artificial or socially inhibited. Sometimes, those
that feel inferior will try to compensate for these feelings by acting just
the opposite of how they feel, develop a strong drive to accomplish things
or become great, and may come across as overbearing or arrogant. In
any of these cases, their actions will actually work against the very
acceptance that they so desperately seek and they will find themselves
increasingly rejected and insecure, fulfilling what they believe about
themselves. Although feeling inferior is characteristic of low
self-image and codependency; it can be, in itself, a common, yet significant
complex psychological problem.
The clearest biblical
example of this problem is found in the story of Leah, the oldest daughter
of Laban. From the very first references concerning Leah in Genesis
Chapter 29, we are told that Leah had a problem.
1. The underlying basis of this problem is that the client is
convinced that she is, in some way, inferior to others. The Bible
tells us that Leah was “tender eyed” but that her sister Rachel was
beautiful. In many societies, looks can make all the difference,
especially when young women are compared one to another. The Hebrew
word for eye, ayin, can also be interpreted as “how one sees
themselves mentally.” Therefore, we are told that Leah viewed herself
as weak, tender, or inferior in some way. Since we are told that her
sister Rachel was beautiful and well favored, we can conclude that the
inferiority was one of external looks.
Ge 29:16
And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and
the name of the younger was Rachel. 17
Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
3. The client who feels inferior usually determines her worth by
what others say, how others treat her, and how she compares herself to
others. Inferiority is a matter of comparison. The same
person may feel superior in one situation and inferior in another depending
on how she views the evaluations of other people. When Laban deceived
Jacob by giving him Leah instead of Rachel in marriage, Leah clearly
understood that Jacob considered her inferior to Rachel. This
virtually guaranteed that Leah would feel inferior, at least in her marriage
to Jacob. Being promoted too rapidly or being hired into a job above
ones ability can also lead a client to struggle with feelings of
inferiority.
Ge 29:23 And it
came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her
to him; and he went in unto her.
4.
One of the results of feeling inferior is often depression.
Leah was given Zilpah as her handmaid. Her name means, “to trickle or
droop” which is the overall impression one has of a person who believes
herself to be inferior in the company of others or is depressed. The
character of relatives and others in a person’s life usually indicate
something about her character also.
Ge 29:24
And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
5. The client may actually be perceived as inferior by others based
on the world’s standards. Without question, the Bible tells us
that Jacob loved Rachel more than he loved Leah. Consequently, she
would most certainly feel inferior to Rachel because of Jacob’s demonstrated
favoritism.
Ge 29:30
And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel
more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
6. God is on the side of the person who is treated as inferior or
rejected by others. Jesus Himself was rejected even though He was
perfect in every way. God values all of His children as equals and
never rejects anyone, or treats anyone as inferior.
Ge 29:31
And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel
was barren.
7. The person who feels inferior usually desperately seeks to be loved and accepted, and wants others to see them as worthwhile. Helping the client find an area in her life in which she can perform competently can help. Leah named her firstborn son Reuben, which means “behold a son.” The word translated from the Hebrew as behold means “to perceive, to respect, to regard, to learn, to discern.” She was hoping that Jacob would now value, love, and accept her as the mother of his oldest son, who was supposed to inherit most of what he had.
Ge 29:32
And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she
said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my
husband will love me.
8. One of the keys to overcoming
feelings of inferiority is for the client to believe what God says about
her—that she is not inferior and is fully accepted and loved—and to praise
God that He will make everything turn out for her good (Rom 8:28).
The Bible tells us that the fear of man is a trap and that we cannot seek
the approval of man and still serve God. Judah, the name of Leah’s
second son, means “praise.” This implies that Leah had learned to
worship and praise God for what He was doing in her life. The more the
client relies on God; the less she will rely on and be influenced by what
men think or say about her.
Ge 29:35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.
Prov 29:25 The fear of
man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
Gal 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God?
or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the
servant of Christ.
Ge 30:9 When Leah saw that she had left
bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife.
10. The client many times will verbally attack others when they do
not feel accepted or blame others for being clickish or arrogant.
Leah named the second son by Zilpah, Gad, which means to attack like a troop
of soldiers.
Ge 30:11 And
Leah said, A troop cometh: and she called his name Gad.
11. A person who feels inferior may waiver between feelings of
happiness and depression depending on how she perceives she is being
accepted by others. I call this the emotional roller-coaster.
When a client’s worth is based on the approval of others, she will live a
life of emotional highs and lows, and put herself at the mercy of other
people’s approval. Asher means “happiness.” It comes from a root
word which means “to advance or to make progress.”
Ge 30:12 And Zilpah Leah's maid bare Jacob a
second son.
12. An important step in recovering from feelings of inferiority is
to move beyond self-focus and begin again to care for others.
Mandrakes were known in that day as love apples, and were supposed to excite
sexual desire and favor procreation. Rachel at this time still did not
have children, and Leah could have hoarded the mandrakes for herself.
Instead, she gave some to Rachel in the hope that it would help them both
have children. Of course, we can still clearly see Leah’s bitterness
in her answer to Rachel and desire to have another chance to conceive.
Notwithstanding this, she did accept Rachel’s offer, which worked in the
best interests of both of them.
Ge 30:14
And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the
field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give
me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes.
15 And she said unto her, is it a small matter
that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's
mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night
for thy son's mandrakes.
13. God honors those
who care for others and will meet their needs. The person who
feels inferior usually becomes so self-centered that she will envy and
compete with others instead of caring about them. The paradox of love
is that, “Those who seek to be loved never find it, but those who give it
liberally receive it back in abundance.” God honored Leah’s attempt to
end the competition and work together with Rachel by giving Leah another
son.
Ge 30:16
And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet
him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with
my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night. 17
And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth
son.
14. When the client finally
focuses on others, they learn by experience that “what goes around, comes
around.” People like people who like
and care about them, not those who compete against them. Issachar
means “there is recompense.” I do not believe Leah was blessed because
she gave her maiden to her husband, but because she quit competing with
Rachel.
Ge 30:18
And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to
my husband: and she called his name Issachar.
15. The ultimate answer for
overcoming feelings of inferiority is faith in God.
When the client finally believes that she is completely
acceptable to God, she will be freed from her struggle to compete and
compare herself to others. If she believes this, she will no longer
feel so self-conscious. Zebulun means “exalted.” By naming her
next son “exalted,” Leah was confessing her victory over her own feelings of
inferiority in her own words. She had enough faith to declare to the
world that she was okay and that she would eventually be exalted in the eyes
of her husband and accepted by him. Although it should be sufficient
for each of us that we are accepted and loved unconditionally by God, God
understands that we still desire to be accepted by other people.
Ge 30:19 And Leah conceived again, and bare
Jacob the sixth son.
16. When the client finally accepts herself, it is only a matter of
time before she will be accepted by others. Leah had a daughter
named Dinah. Dinah means judgment, based on a root meaning to “plead a
cause.” She had pleaded her cause or had presented evidence to the
jury of her soul that she was not inferior, and she had received judgment
that she was worthy of the acceptance of others.
Ge 30:21
And afterwards she bare a daughter, and called her name Dinah.
17. Once the client finally is able to accept herself, her new view
of herself will be challenged just as any belief based on God’s truth will
be challenged. This is the “good fight of faith.” Rachel now
became pregnant and bore Joseph. Leah’s envy could easily have been
triggered by this event. Jacob proposed to move away from her father
Laban and she had to decide if she was secure enough to follow Jacob, who
still loved Rachel more than her, and yet expect a good life with him.
Ge 30:22 And God remembered Rachel, and God
hearkened to her, and opened her
18. Even though she may now fully accept herself, a person who has
previously struggled with feelings of inferiority must still deal with the
perceptions of others, and trust God that He will eventually change their
views. When Laban went to search for his stolen idols, he searched
Leah’s tent before he searched Rachel’s tent. And even after Jacob’s
wrestling match with God (when God changed his name to Israel), when Jacob
feared an attack by Esau; he still put the two concubines and Leah and her
children in front of Rachel and Joseph; clearly indicating that he still
loved and wanted to protect Rachel more.
Ge 31:33 And Laban went into Jacob's tent,
and into Leah's tent, and into the two maidservants' tents; but he found
them not. Then went he out of Leah's tent, and entered into Rachel's tent.
Ge 33:1 And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and
looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he
divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids.
19. The greatest challenge to the faith of someone struggling with
inferiority will come when the client’s worth is directly confronted by an
abusive person. This can be a very difficult struggle.
Leah’s faith that she would eventually be “exalted” was challenged when
Dinah (exalted) was raped by Shechem, the son of Hamor. Shechem means
“the back or shoulder” and Hamor means “he-ass.” I believe that this
suggests that when the person struggling with feelings of inferiority is
confronted (daughter raped) by one who turns his back on her and acts like
an “ass,” it is the ultimate challenge of her faith. She must avoid
believing that the “rape” occurred because there was something wrong with
her and must correctly perceive that the other person “has a problem” and
needs help because of his rude and unacceptable behavior. Fortunately,
Leah did not defend herself and attack Shechem. Unfortunately, her
sons did. They killed Shechem, all the people of the town, and took
all that they had.
Ge 34:1 And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which
she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.
20. Eventually,
through faith in God, the one who saw herself as inferior will be vindicated
and find the acceptance that she always wanted. Rachael died
during the birth of her second son Benjamin and was buried near Bethlehem.
Leah died in the land of Canaan before Jacob (now Israel) moved to Egypt.
She was buried in the cave of Machpelah (double portion) which is in Mamre
(“strength" or "fatness") along with Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, and
eventually Jacob. Jacob, himself, gave the direction that he be buried
along side of Leah, not Rachel; probably indicating a change of heart before
his death. Her final victory, however, is this: God chose Leah,
through her son Judah, to be the progenitor of Christ; not Rachel!
Ge 49:29 And he charged them, and said unto
them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the
cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
Steps for Overcoming Feelings of Inferiority
1.
Realize that the root of the problem is a
perception by the client that she is in someway inferior to those around
her.
2.
Because the client perceives herself as
inferior, she becomes self-conscious and depressed, and excessively attempts
to obtain the approval of others or withdraws to protect herself from
rejection.
3.
Her excessive attempts to obtain approval
result in artificiality and an appearance of neediness that causes others to
avoid her. Withdrawal makes others feel they are not liked or that the
client is not friendly.
4.
The client interprets this avoidance as
rejection and further proof that she is indeed inferior or unacceptable in
some way.
5.
The client needs to find a place in life where
she can become competent and excel in order to take her focus off the
perceived areas of inferiority.
6.
The client must accept God’s evaluation of her
and praise God that she is not inferior in God’s eyes, is wonderfully made,
and that God will work everything for the client’s good.
7.
The client must avoid the emotional swings
caused by evaluating her worth based on her perceptions and the approval of
others.
8.
She must avoid self-consciousness and
self-evaluation, focus on the needs of others, and refuse to compete with or
envy others.
9.
The client should expect that her faith in God
that she is acceptable as a person will be challenged.
10. She must put her relationship with God first, believing that, as she reaches out to help others; God will eventually exalt her in the eyes of other people.
For videos on this subject select the links below:
The written material information presented above comes from
Transformation! How Simple Bible Stories Provide In-depth Answers for Life's Most Difficult Problems by Dr. Reiner $18.99